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Need a man to protect me

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Most of you have heard about the tragic deaths of 12 innocent people who were murdered in a movie theater a few weeks ago in Aurora, Colorado. The gunman also wounded 58 others in a random and vicious act of violence. One of the victims, Ashley Moser, was pregnant and hit twice in the abdomen. She remains paralyzed, and sadly, she miscarried the baby. Tragically, her six-year-old daughter, Veronica Moser Sullivan, was the youngest to die.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 7 Self-Defense Essentials to Protect Yourself

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: A Man Is Supposed To Protect His Woman -- STEVE HARVEY

Real Men Are Warriors Who Protect

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You're a successful woman with a job to die for, a fabulous home and a supportive husband, but do you ever get the urge to check his mobile phone for love messages? Or his bank statements for intimate meals a deux that you didn't share?

And do you lie awake at night worrying how you'll cope if the worst happens, your fears are proved and your husband walks out? Don't worry. Your suspicion is only natural. At the risk of sounding extraordinarily sexist, I'm convinced that women, even in the happiest of relationships, are programmed to worry their men are going to abandon them.

And they're terrified - in a way that most men find it frankly impossible to imagine. What's more, if their forebodings come true, women are more inclined to forgive an affair than a man if the shoe is on the other foot.

That's not because they're nicer, more easygoing individuals. It's simply because their primeval urge to hang onto a male provider is so strong. Women in the 21st century may boast that they are truly independent for the first time in our social history. They may tell themselves and each other that they don't need a man. They can even start a family on their own thanks to IVF techniques.

But, while feminists may argue this proves women have finally kicked off the shackles of dependence on men, I'm afraid they're wrong. In evolutionary terms the huge cultural changes over the past generation amount simply to the merest blink of an eye. It could take another 10, years for women to change their thinking. Quite simply, women are preprogrammed to feel dependent on men. Even today women may be richer and enjoy all the trappings of success but, deep down in their psyche, they fear they can't survive alone.

These women may be shooting up the career ladder and earning more than the men in their lives, but when it comes to relationships men still hold the trump card. As an evolutionary psychologist, I study patterns of behaviour dating back to the first human societies, and constantly analyse evidence that demonstrates the key differences which have developed between the sexes since men were hunter-gatherers and women were child bearers.

Females are smaller and weaker than males so, in prehistoric times, women and their offspring were prone to being the victims of predators, and violence. They needed the support and protection of men who didn't just have brute force but also had social status in the group, either through their sheer physicality or the strength of their personality.

If a woman had a relationship with a socially dominant male, she would immediately get greater access to resources because her social standing would be elevated, too.

As we shall see, modern surveys consistently show that women today ape those inherent characteristics by looking for partners who are socially dominant and have the respect of their peers, paying close attention to how men interact with, and are treated by, other men. Men have a different reason for choosing a mate. The caveman needed to be sure he was raising a child who was genetically his. The best way of doing this was to secure a mate and guard her so she didn't get the chance to stray.

A man's natural instinct may be to have sex with a different woman every day, but to safeguard his relationship and secure his progeny , he has been forced into a pattern of monogamy. When couples meet at speed-dating evenings, typically a man will judge a woman on her looks and youth. His priorities are whether she's healthy, interested in sex and can give him children one day. He doesn't care how much she earns or her social status.

Typically, however, a woman's first question will be: 'What job do you do? Is he an industrious, hard worker, capable of providing for her and their children?

Because of his power, even the ugliest politician on the planet has women lining up to go to bed with him. Were he the local rat catcher, his love life would be a good deal quieter. As American statesman Henry Kissinger put it: 'Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

One might argue that it's only natural for today's women in their 30s or 40s to feel dependent on a man. After all, the vast majority were raised by mothers who by and large didn't have careers and were forced to rely financially on their husbands. Yet study after study proves that today's women in their 20s are just as insecure. The first group, described as doctors, wore designer ties, smart shirts and sported Rolex watches.

The second wore plain shirts and Swatch watches and were described as teachers. The third group wore Burger King uniforms. Women repeatedly picked doctors as potential boyfriends - even though many of the men in the third category were actually more handsome. Quite simply, to women a man's looks are less important than earning power and social standing. In another study, male and female medical students were asked to pick their ideal mate from a selection of careers.

The majority of men chose nurses. Women, however, picked hospital consultants. This demonstrates that, although every bit as financially successful as their male colleagues, these young women still feel they need men to confer power and social standing to a superior male. It's no surprise to me that another study this year by sociologists at Virginia University found that couples are happiest in traditional marriages run on old-fashioned gender lines, where the man is the main breadwinner.

The report showed conclusively that women who worked were more dissatisfied with their husbands than those who stayed at home. One of the experts, W Radford Wilcox, said: 'Regardless of what married women say they believe about gender, they tend to have happier marriages when their husband is a good provider. Happiest of all were women whose husbands brought in at least two-thirds of the household income, regardless of how much they helped with domestic chores. In short I suspect women will never feel truly comfortable earning more than their men.

The need to rely on a man is driven by such a deep-seated biological urge, I cannot see it ever being eradicated completely. Only last week, a survey by the Skipton Building Society concluded that many women who are the main breadwinner hold it against their partner for contributing less to the household budget than they do. While those women might like the material rewards of their high salaries, they also dislike the financial responsibility - perhaps reflectingthe inbuilt genetic imperative to rely on someone else.

It is that instinctive need to rely on a man which makes women so afraid of abandonment. Perhaps that is why women are more attuned to their partner's moods and curious about tiny aspects of his life. And they are much better than men at spotting liars. Evolutionary psychologists are convinced that these are in part throwbacks to a woman's need to maintain her relationship at all costs. It's completely irrational for women, who can earn as much as men, to have a terror of being abandoned.

Even if she can't work, the welfare state means she's not going to starve. Yet it's a real fear for many women. We have anecdotal evidence of women lying awake at night worrying how they'd cope. Women are terrified of abandonment. They fear a drop in status or social standing that might come with divorce in a way men - who are driven by very different priorities - simply don't understand.

Even extremely wealthy, successful women have these vestigial anxieties which bear absolutely no relation to the reality of their lives, but are throwbacks to caveman society. Ironically, although men actually fare less well after divorce and are often less happy, women typically are more frightened of living alone. Men find it extremely hard to forgive an affair.

This dates back to early man's horror of unwittingly raising another man's child. However, women are predisposed to be more tolerant of affairs. It comes down to brutal economics. The thought of your husband having sex with another woman may be devastating. But even worse is the prospect of him pouring all his financial resources her way. Quite simply, women are so programmed to feel dependent that their subliminal urge to safeguard the home often outweighs the fury of being sexually betrayed.

Terror of being abandoned even drives the beauty industry. Eating clinics report a four-fold rise in the number of middle-aged women seeking help for anorexia and bulimia because they're desperate to look slim and youthful. These problems were once the province of teenage girls.

And while women may claim they are having cosmetic surgery and Botox treatments purely to feel better about themselves, I believe the reason is much more complex. Women are driven by a primeval urge to keep their men by looking youthful and fertile. I fear so. No comments have so far been submitted. Why not be the first to send us your thoughts, or debate this issue live on our message boards. Argos AO. So do they need men at all? Here, Dr Neave, 41, explains his provocative thesis: You're a successful woman with a job to die for, a fabulous home and a supportive husband, but do you ever get the urge to check his mobile phone for love messages?

That's why women still look for a mate of higher social standing. Share or comment on this article:. Comments 0 Share what you think. Bing Site Web Enter search term: Search. The homegrown produce at its most delicious right now, and how one supermarket is helping the farmers who produce it Ad Feature. Manganiello stuns fans after losing his signature beard in new lockdown look Today's headlines Most Read Feeling nostalgic?

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How Masculine Men Protect Women’s Feminine Energy

To protect himself, he demands a female journalist seeking to shadow him bring along a male chaperone. You know the one. Oh, and Eve, of course. Mothers shield their sons from us.

I spent the majority of my childhood mimicking the actions of my older brother and five boy cousins. For the most part, I did strive to maintain my stereotypical femininity by wearing dresses and playing with dolls — not because I had to but I wanted to. But being surrounded by mostly boys, and them being the ones I looked up to the most, I was taught to enjoy hobbies that are seen as masculine.

If you want to comment on this content, go here. But if you are in a relationship like marriage, that requires moment by moment care, love, nourishing, and cherishing, that relationship cannot be pressed into the fabric, as though it was just another thread. This perspective was why Mable struggled so much with Biff. It was hard for Biff to see this when he first came to counseling. It would be Mable.

A Gentleman Protects His Girl These 7 Ways

At the time my wife and I were beginning to date, I owned a broken bed. The box spring had a biggish crack on one side, which caused you to feel like you were being gradually swallowed in the night—an effect seriously exacerbated by the presence of a second person. I had not bothered to buy pillows when I moved to Milwaukee, reasoning that old pants stuffed in a pillowcase could not possibly feel that different. I did, however, have a desk, which I had carried from the Salvation Army, a mile and a half, on my shoulders, in August. I should mention here that I have never been what anyone would consider macho. My wife now amuses guests by narrating this period in our lives in the sitcom gender-essentialist mode: the silly, uncivilized man; the patiently exasperated woman. But she and I are both right: My choices rested on many years of socialization, as much as they unfolded against a background of economic precarity. Were there not buses?

Why Do Women Want to Feel Protected By Their Man?

Of course, there is the legal system which offers a form of protection 1. Post-Incident Protection and the police 2. Pre-incident Protection. Which helps to provide an extra layer of protection. This usually leads to abuse and a lot of resentment making the relationship unstable.

Masculine energy is all about breaking free from constraints, overcoming, closing the deal, protecting, providing, leading….

I have a big mouth and a quick temper. In the past, I experienced abusive relationships and my quick wit failed me in those times. No amount of clever jabs could protect me from my abuser and it was a terrifying realization. In those moments, it would have been nice to have a real partner on my side.

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Evidence of this can be found in the almost weekly TV news reports shown across in the world. This is as true for women today as it was a thousand years ago or even 10, years ago. Instead, her ongoing need to feel protected is simply about the fact that we still live in a very challenging and sometimes dangerous world.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: OneRepublic - Rescue Me

When a man is confident within himself, and understands his self-worth, he can be a source of strength. On the flip side, a man lacking confidence can be draining or even dangerous. Men are naturals when it comes to protecting the people they care about. Why are men protective? A true gentleman protects his girl by deep moral standards within. Throughout his pursuit of her, she feels safe because a true gentleman keeps the creepers away.

Sorry, but women are dependent on men

So many times as men we are told that our role is to protect our wives and family by any means. I think that in the midst of being tough we forget that protection can come in many forms. The truth is that sometimes Mother-In-Laws and Daughter-in-laws are in a subconscious battle. Mom is battling for her son and the wife is battling for her husband. Mom thinks that the wife will never add up to her cooking, parenting, planning… and the wife feels like she always has to prove something to Mom. These situations can become toxic and sometimes mom can become really disrespectful towards the wife.

Jan 24, - In this post, I want to shed some light on how a man should protect his of people and things that are either connected to us or belongs to us.

You're a successful woman with a job to die for, a fabulous home and a supportive husband, but do you ever get the urge to check his mobile phone for love messages? Or his bank statements for intimate meals a deux that you didn't share? And do you lie awake at night worrying how you'll cope if the worst happens, your fears are proved and your husband walks out? Don't worry. Your suspicion is only natural.

As a husband and father, you are the warrior who has been charged with the duty of pushing back against the evil that seeks to prey on your wife, daughters, and sons. It began as a shopping date with my daughter Laura, who was 13 at the time. I never dreamed it would end the way it did. Laura decided that she wanted to go where her older brothers and sisters went to shop at the time—Abercrombie and Fitch.

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